thanks for all the messages lovely people

surprise i am actually the most insecure person ever when it comes to socialisation

i’m starving and i can’t leave the hotel to get food because i don’t have a “buddy”
because there are forty-seven people
and everyone just left in their own little groups
and i got left behind how awesome

deannawinchester replied to your post: deannawinchester replied to your post:…
that feeling of someone not wanting you there is suffocating and it just eats away at you. you dont want to be alone but you dont want to be… there. and ugh. i feel your pain so much. i wish that i was there with you so we could chill and funs
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i feel kinda numb right now to be honest
but yeah basically. mostly i just want to go home, and relax on my laptop and do something with my friends and play skyrim or something.

deannawinchester replied to your post: deannawinchester replied to your post: there are…
oh god. that is miserable. and that is a place that is really hard to have an awesome time in unless you can experience it with someone else. one girl is just a massive bitch. she is really turning the trip into a chance to gossip. really now.

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i had an entire response typed out and then hit something weird and couldn’t get it back fantastic iPad A+ for recovery
fuck i just wanna go home
my singular friend spends most of her time in a group of people i know but i don’t really connect with and i’m really getting the feeling that they’re annoyed with me tagging along and i’m finding it harder and harder to keep like the kinda more glum tone out of my voice which sucks because i hate sounding whingy but
i’m trying to make an effort to get along with even the people i’m disagreeing with and nothing’s working
i just really feel like no one wants me here
that no one fucking cares that i’m here too
i’m not included, no one talks to me unless i inject myself in, no one invites me to shop or do anything, no one even acknowledges me really until i talk directly to them
and even then that one girl i’m fighting with and another girl won’t even look at/answer me then

i want to go home i hate being here i fucking
want
to
go
home

i wish someone would at least consider asking me to come with them
whenever this happens to my sister i always go out of my way to include her with my friends
fucking always

i also wish i could put these under read mores but i can’t on this device fuck

i keep having to get up and answer the door for people looking for my sister
and today i found out that not only to most people not know we’re sisters
but most of the people who do know think she’s the older one.

normally this doesn’t bother me but right now it is

deannawinchester replied to your post: there are forty-seven people on this trip the…
awh man. i know how that feels and it is the shittiest feeling ever. so just *hugsss*

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-hugs back- i just really want to go home
my sister, who’s rooming with me, just went out with her friends to have fun and i’m literally just sitting here in the hotel room for the next two hours and i don’t even have my laptop and there is just
no one
who even offers “oh do you want to come” or ANYTHING and i feel so pushy and rude asking if i can tag along 24/7 when they’ve got their group of close friends

and there’s this girl on the trip who hates me and for someone who hates it when people talk behind her back she sure TALKS BEHIND MY BACK A LOT. so there are people i could be talking to but can’t because they ignore me like she does and she’s friends with literally my only friend on this trip so it’s just fucking

fantastic it’s just bloody fantastic

there are forty-seven people on this trip
the rule is that every person has to have a “buddy” and you basically sit by them/stick by them the entire trip

gues who, out of forty-seven people, is the odd fucking one out

i literally have no one

any people i know have already clustered in large groups and i follow them around and just feel like a fricking pushy outsider because i have no one to hang out with but they all look out for each other and take pictures and i have

fucking no one

Fuck the second plane hasn’t even taken off and already I’m so lonely that I want to cry
Like everyone has friends and I’m just fucking alone and the people I know keep moving away and this is supposed to be fun I mean we’re going to FRANCE but I just want to go home